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MONEY-SMART KIDS
Scrap the Money Lecture
by Janet Bodnar

The trouble with dispensing advice about kids and money is that people often assume that my own children are financial whizzes who check their stock portfolios daily, or that I hold forth on fiscal policy at the dinner table, or that my poor deprived children never get a dime from dear old Mom. To which I respectfully reply: Humbug!

For the record, my children have thus far shown no interest in the stock market (although I hope someday they'll thank their father and me for opening IRAs with their summer earnings). If I even attempt to lecture them about money, their rolling eyeballs make me dizzy. As for buying stuff for my kids, I can (sometimes) be a real softie.

What I have learned after a decade of writing about children and money is to forget the finger-wagging and simply be tuned in to the subject when it comes up -- as it inevitably does when my kids and I are shopping for clothes or groceries, buying holiday gifts, opening a bank account, or discussing who's going to pay for the class ring or gas for the car.

As my children have grown, they have taught me as much as I've taught them, and here are some of the things I've learned:

• Don't push too hard or too early.
• Keep things simple.
• Give your kids money of their own to manage.
• Use common sense, and trust your influence with your kids.

Now that my own children are speeding toward adulthood -- and (almost) independence -- I'm also learning they're never too old to need help from a parent. And here's the most satisfying lesson of all: There is a payoff.

I discovered this as a result of a saga that began last spring and involved my eldest child, John, who was then a junior in college. Last April John's debit card was stolen at school. He discovered and reported the theft within 24 hours -- just about the time the card issuer began calling him regarding $700 worth of suspicious purchases the issuer had flagged at Kmart, Athlete's Foot and Wendy's, among other stores.

Because John had reported the theft so promptly, the student credit union where he had his checking account promised to credit back the withdrawals. But months went by, and the $700 did not reappear in his account.

Next week: How John got his money back (with a little help from Mom)