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MONEY-SMART KIDS
Handling an Overindulgent Grandparent
by Janet Bodnar

We have always had trouble with an overindulgent grandparent who showers our only child, now 6, with numerous gifts. We strive not to be materialistic and to expose him instead to experiences, such as travel. But his grandmother showers him with $20 bills, which have no meaning to him. Any suggestions on curbing her behavior (she is not wealthy) and teaching the value of money to our son through all this?

Don't be so sure that $20 bills have no meaning to your six-year-old. At this age, he's probably learning money equivalencies in school. He'll soon be able to calculate that if $1 equals four quarters, then $20 equals a heap of change.

That's all the more reason to get Grandma under control soon, before your son learns to love her for her money rather than for herself.

Tell that to Grandma when you discuss this with her, which should be your first order of business. You may be able to change her behavior simply by asking her politely to stop showering your son with money.

Explain that while you appreciate her gifts, you'd also appreciate her help in teaching your son sound financial values. Suggest that he'll look forward to her visits just as much, if not more, if she gives him time rather than money, baking cookies with him or tossing a baseball.

If Grandma still insists on indulging her grandson, then at least try to channel her generosity into areas that are more acceptable to you. If you want to expose your son to experiences, for example, suggest that Grandma take him to a play or a museum. Or suggest that she contribute to your son's college savings fund. All those $20 bills will add up to a tidy sum by the time he's 18.

Financial privacy

In reference to your column about your son's experience with his bank account, I'd like to know why you would call a bank's customer service center for your son. Did he attempt to contact the call center without success? This is a concern, as I'm pretty sure you're familiar with privacy policies in the financial services industry.

I volunteered to call the bank on my son's behalf just to be a nice mom and help him out. My question turned out to be a general one that the bank representative was able to answer without specific account information.